Yea Right!

EVER WONDER
Why the sun lightens our hair, but
darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a
long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why didn't Noah swat those two
mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is
Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

BARBARA

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of theThree Little Pigs to her class.She came to the part of the story where the first pig was
trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read," ...And
so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw Pardon me
sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'"
The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?"
One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said... Good Lord Have Mercy, A talking pig!"
The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

1.Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty & so is your head.

2. After you, my love, my only prize Would be a bullet between the eyes.

3.Of loving beauty you float with grace If only you could hide your face.

4.I thought that I could love no other Until, that is, I met your brother.

5. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot This describes everything you're not.

6.I want to feel your sweet embrace But don't take that paper bag off your face.

7.I love your smile, your face, and your eyes ... Darn, I'm good at telling lies!

8. Every time I see your face I wish I were in outer space.

9.I saw your face as you walked by But then I saw a better guy.

10. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife: Marrying you screwed up my life.

11. Beauty is on the inside, I'd prefer you inside out.

12.What inspired this amorous rhyme? Two parts vodka, one part lime.

13. I see your face when I am dreaming That's why I always wake up screaming.`

14. My love you take my breath away What have you stepped in to smell this way?

I have a list of folks I know......all written in a book, and every now and then......I go and take a look. That is when I realize these names......they are a part, not of the book they're written in......but taken from the heart. For each name stands for someone......who has crossed my path sometime, and in that meeting they have become......the reason and the rhyme. Although it sounds fantastic......for me to make this claim, I really am composed......of each remembered name. Although you're not aware......of any special link, just knowing you, has shaped my life......more than you could think. So please don't think my greeting......as just a mere routine, your name was not......forgotten in between. For when I send a greeting......that is addressed to you, it is because you're on the list......of folks I'm indebted to. So whether I have known you......for many days or few, in some ways you have a part......in shaping things I do. I am but a total......of many folks I've met, you are a friend I would prefer......never to forget. Thats for real!

<(==========)Barbara(======<<<<<